The chances of finding a ‘6’5, blue eyed ‘finance man’ in this economy are slim

TheIn case you’re wondering, the hottest song of the summer isn’t Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso,” nor is Charli XCX’s entire album, Brat. It’s actually a viral TikTok sound created by Megan Boni, who states: “I’m looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes.

While Boni’s 19-second video garnered more than 40 million views (and counting), her viral song inspired thousands more to confess that they, too, were looking for a partner who fit that special bill. One woman commented under Boni’s TikTok: “Please add to the wealth of generations somehow.” Another woman visited London’s Canary Wharf with a cardboard sign that read: ‘Looking for a man in finance’ as she looked up potential dates in real time. And a third user gate kept her current financial boyfriend from the rest of the world. “Keep looking for your ladies men,” she said. ”He’s out there.”

For the better half of the past decade, the term “finance bro” has become the ultimate red flag in dating — a pejorative phrase used by women to signal a (usually) white man who works for a big firm financial, works. terrible hours, and still haven’t shed some of their fraternity brother’s behavior even in adulthood. At the sight of a finance bro in the wild, young women looked the other way or as if they didn’t know the difference between Blackstone and BlackRock.

Now, it seems that all of a sudden – and with the help of Boni’s viral video – men in finance have become the number one most eligible bachelors. Surely, it can’t just be a catchy TikTok that has transformed financial bros from persona non grata to Prince Charming? Or are we just fooling ourselves by pretending that Patagonia vests really are that attractive?

When Sabrina Zohar – a professional dating coach and host of So the work podcast – saw Boni’s video debut on her TikTok For You page, she couldn’t help but shake her head at those who think this type of “ideal man” actually exists in the real world.

“I feel like the next generation is still holding on to this Disney fairy tale that I’m going to have everything I want because I say I want it, and if I say I want it, then it should be there for me. – said Zohar The Independent.

As it turns out, there is someone who actually identified the probability of finding a man in finance with a trust fund who is 6-5 and blue-eyed – and the odds are very much against us. Rae Hodge, a director of corporate strategy based in Los Angeles, posted her TikTok video in which she showed (her husband) an estimate of how many people in the US fit Boni’s description.

“6’5″ so you know how tall it is?” Hodge asked her husband Ryan as she stood in front of a presentation of her findings. “It’s crazy tall.”

Factor in Boni’s non-negotiables – work in finance (1.7 million US men), have a trust fund (1.2 percent of Americans), 6-5 (a 0.1 percent of US men). ), and blue eyes (27 percent of men in the U.S.) — and of course whether they’re single or not, that left Boni with only two available men so far in the entire country, according to Hodge’s. calculations.

“Things are not looking good for GirlOnCouch,” one TikTok user commented in response.

Of course, there’s usually no rhyme or reason to why videos go viral online. It could be that we didn’t have a catchy viral song and Boni’s was the earworm that stuck. About Sabrina Bendory – a dating.com relationship expert and author of You’re Overthinking It: Find eternal love by being your true self It wasn’t just the comedic nature of Boni’s video that made it a viral sensation, but it also struck a special nerve with Gen Z songs.

“This generation is quite particular about things – they have a long list of requirements before they judge a product worth buying or a job worth taking,” she said. The Independent. “The same attitude applies to dating and relationships, and this group is more likely to openly post about their ‘ideal man’ or ‘perfect partner’ on social media.

For decades, relationship experts told women that discussing money with a potential date or significant other was completely taboo. As women began to make great strides in the labor market (although a persistent gender wage gap will never make things equal), questions about money became less important as women were able to support themselves financially. That is, until Gen Z started romanticizing the hyper-specific aesthetic on TikTok, which, in turn, changed their perspectives on dating.

Trends like the “clean girl aesthetic” and “quiet luxury” have dominated TikTok feeds for the past two years, emphasizing understated elegance while avoiding obnoxious displays of wealth. Popular TV shows like Legacy have sparked more interest in the lives of the super-rich, while Sofia Richie’s wedding to husband Elliot Grainge transformed the baby of nepotism into a style icon of hidden wealth.

“There is just too much interest in the lifestyle of the super elite. It’s almost a form of escapism, especially given the current state of the economy, and it’s easy to be seduced by that lifestyle and imagine what it would be like to never have to worry about money and for Kids to never worry about money, kids theirs, and so on,” said Bendory.

Not to mention there’s been an influx of new, “traditional motherhood” influencers — aka “traditional women” — spending their days in the kitchen and cooking meals for their families from scratch. With such a constant flow of traditionalist and greedy content online, it’s no wonder our dating preferences have changed so much as a result.

“The fact is that society as a whole thinks highly of men who make a lot of money. And many people don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting a goal to marry someone with money, Bendory explained. “Financial strain is extremely difficult and you can’t blame someone for wanting to avoid it.”

Indeed, many reports have shown that Gen Z is facing financial hardship unlike any other generation. About 38 percent of American adults born after 1996 said they face more difficulty feeling financially secure than their parents at the same age, according to a January 2024 Bankrate report. A Bank of America survey found that more than half of Gen Zers believe higher costs are an obstacle to their financial success. Between rising housing costs and student loan payments, roughly two-thirds of Gen Zers think they’ll never have enough money to retire.

“I think we’re in a place now where we’re seeing, generation after generation, that we can’t do what our parents did,” Zohar said. “We can’t be a single-income household with three kids while someone stays home and takes care of everyone. Like, that ship has sailed. We can barely provide for ourselves, let alone our family. â€

With such uncertainty for young people in the economy, it should come as no surprise that some women believe that marrying a man who works in finance with a trust fund can help them feel stable enough to fulfill their goals. long-term financial. But at what cost? If anything, the viral reaction to Boni’s video may have exposed just how much we’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship.

Financial stability has always played a factor in choosing a partner for a long time, but there is no argument that compatibility, communication style, sexual chemistry or a good sense of humor are much more important when it comes to relationships. What if he loses his job? Or is the trust fund no longer valid, or won’t be accessible for another 20 years? Relationship experts agree that dating someone just for their money can increase the chance of being unhappy in a relationship and even increase the chance of divorce in the future.

“We forget that there’s another side to having this perfect version of who you think you want,” Zohar said. “If that’s what you want, then show me the depth of your relationship. Really show me how fulfilled you feel, show me how good you feel in this relationship.”

Looking for a man in finance with a trust fund who is 6-5 and blue-eyed can be all fun and games when you’re not trying to take a relationship too seriously. However, when it comes time to fully weigh the pros and cons of being with one person, it’s more important to think about how you’ll achieve financial stability together—while not sacrificing your emotional fulfillment as well.

“In today’s economy, we’re seeing more people sacrifice real attraction, chemistry and compatibility to date someone with better personal finances,” Bendory said. “If you’re thinking about staying in a relationship for the sake of financial security, it’s important to think about the bigger picture of what will truly fulfill you. Instead, I think we should normalize couples who come with a financial plan together and prioritize things like value alignment, shared goals, and true friendship over money.